Parmex

Apparently, the New River was diverted from Herefordshire to supply London with clean water in 1613. Passing clear through to Islington, it filled tanks for Sadler's Wells' patriotic battle re-enactments and populist plays of the 1800s.

My allotment plot follows the riverbed of one section long since routed underground. I could make gargantuan mosaics with the variety and volume of broken pottery I find, but carrots just won't root straight in such craggy soil. Enter the Parmex; a cultivar that strives to regain in girth (and flavour) what it laughably lacks in length. And this is my first 'bumper' crop.